Chapter Text
"Are you sure it's okay for me to be here?" Peter asked as they walked up to the building. "I mean, I don't go to your school."
"It's a class party." Duke reassured him. "We're allowed to bring friends and siblings. Plus, my friends want to meet you... and you don't want to miss the show."
"Show?" Peter asked as Alfred parked the car.
Summer school at Dick's school only lasted two months, allowing them a month of vacation. To celebrate, the PTA always helped organize a party. Bruce, being a member of the PTA (having the time now that Tim was running Wayne Industries), had invited Peter to the party alongside Duke.
"Let's just say that Bruce Wayne has as many enemies as Batman." Duke whispered, grinning a little.
- - -
"I'm walking up the steps right now, Alfred." Bruce spoke into his phone as he struggled with all of the shopping bags. He rolled his eyes a little at Alfred's next question. "Yes,I got all of the requested snacks for Duke's class party."
Although he personally wondered if they'd be enough. He knew from experience that teenagers (especially athletic genius teenagers who moonlighted as vigilantes) had large appetites, not to mention the fact that Peter and his superhuman metabolism was attending.
"And you're sure you need me on standby?" The English butler asked. He'd been told to wait in the limo after he dropped off Peter and Duke. Bruce knew he was making one of his signature raised eyebrows even if he couldn't see it. "Things have been quiet lately."
"Exactly.It's been almosttooquiet." Bruce explained as he walked through the school's halls. "She's up to something. I just know it."
"Master Bruce..." The butler admonished.
"I've gotta go." Bruce interrupted as he struggled to open the door to the classroom. "Just be ready."
Alfred sighed and ended the call. Bruce briefly freed a hand, tucked his phone into his blazer pocket, and entered the classroom.
The other PTA parents had been busy; the room was decorated with balloons, banners, and streamers.
"Wow," the billionaire remarked with complete honesty, "the room looks great! I've got the snacks!"
He held up one of the shopping bags... only to realize that one of the tables was already covered in an assortment of chips and other snack foods.
"Wait, snacks?" One of the mothers, named Alyssa, spoke up. "Bruce, you were in charge of dessert!"
What?"No, I was definitely told snacks."
"Oh no!" Alyssa groaned. "We can't throw them a class party without dessert!"
"They'll be devastated!" Another mother, named Sabrina, agreed.
Bruce winced in guilt, but he was still confused. The email hadspecificallysaid he needed to bring snacks...
"Hold on," he raised his hands, "I can fix this! I can make a run to the store--"
"No need!" A perky voice spoke up. Bruce's blood pressure went up at the mere sound of it.
A short woman with a pixie cut dressed all in blue walked in with her nose in the air and several boxes of cupcakes in her hands.
"I was in a baking mood last night, so I decided to whip up some cupcakes for the kids!" Margie announced. "And on the same day Bruce forgets dessert. What a coincidence!"
I don't believe in fateorcoincidences.Bruce thought.
"Oh, Margie, you're a life-saver!" Alyssa thanked her. She and Sabrina took the cupcake boxes with identical relieved smiles.
Both moms were oblivious to the look Bruce was giving his fellow PTA parent.
"I can't believe you justhappenedto have those ready!" Bruce said with fake smile and minor strain in his voice.
"Guess we got lucky!" Margie chirped, sounding a littletoohappy.
The second the other PTA parents were out of ear-shot, the two turned on each other.
"There was no luck involved. You set me up." Bruce whispered angrily. "IknowI was told to bring snacks, not dessert!"
"Wereyou?" She replied with a sneer. "How strange. Seems like you should pay better attention next time. I can't always be picking up the slack for you."
Bruce's eye twitched.
Okay, this blond witch was going down.
"Bruce," Margie talked a little louder, putting on a cheery, slightly condescending voice, "why don't you put those snacks in the back? I doubt we'll get to them, but bless your little heart for trying!"
She walked away and entered a conversation with one of the other PTA mothers.
Bruce took a breath, put the snacks on one of the back tables, then stepped out into the hallway.
- - -
"See what I meant?" Duke asked. He had insisted that he and Peter wait outside the classroom before the party started. He'd been able to hear the drama going down well enough from outside the door, but Peter's enhanced hearing had managed to hear it perfectly.
"Does that happen often?" Pete asked, a small smile tugging at his lips.
"Oh yeah. He and Margie have been at each other's throats since he joined the PTA. The other parents have no idea, but they're always trying to one-up each other. They were dead-even until today."
Bruce chose that moment to walk out of the classroom, so irritated he didn't even see the two teenagers leaning against the wall. Duke pressed his hand over his mouth, and saw Peter do the same.
After everything he'd done and the all the criminals he'd fought, it was pretty hilarious that a passive-aggressive PTA mom could get under Bruce's skin.
"She was two steps ahead of me, Alfred!" Bruce spoke into the phone, keeping enough of his self-control so that he didn't yell. "I can't believe I didn't see this coming!"
"Before you take any action," Alfred's voice came over the speaker phone, "please remember that this day is supposed to be about the children..."
Duke saw the look in Bruce's eyes, and barely resisted the urge to laugh. Margie was about to get outgunned.
"The children!" Bruce grinned. "Of course! Alfred, you'll need to make some calls! I know exactly how we're going to fix this!"
- - -
The party had been going on for an hour. Peter had been making the rounds with his foster brother; Duke was introducing him to all of his friends, classmates, teachers, and a few PTA parents. Everyone was friendly, asking him questions about his thoughts on Gotham, complimenting him on finishing high school early, and expressing condolences about his parents passing a few months before (he didn't have to fake feeling sad about those questions; while he'd reunited with Aunt May, there were still a lot of people in his home dimension that he missed).
Margie kept trying to talk to him, but Duke expertly kept them away from her.
"Alright, quiet down everyone!" The PTA head, named Alyssa, called out after a while. "There are a lot of people we need to thank for making today happen..."
She pulled Margie (who was looking very smug) front and center. Duke and Peter tactfully took long sips from their cups of soda, refusing to look at the woman. Peter couldn't help but wonder where Bruce was...
"But one person," Alyssa continued, "went above and beyond..."
As if on cue, the school's intercom crackled to life.
"Excuse me, teachers and students! We have a special treat for everyone today! All classes may proceed to the parking lot for free ice cream provided by Mister Wayne! Let's give Mister Wayne a huge thank you!"
There were incredulous gasps and excited cheers from around the room. No one noticed Peter doing a spit take or Duke cracking up... or the stupified look on Margie's face.
- - -
With how much Bruce had promised through Alfred, it was easy to get several ice cream vendors to agree to come to the school. The students (and quite a few teachers) had been more than excited at the promise of free ice cream. There were lines twenty people long at every one of the six trucks, with dozens more sitting or standing around with their frozen treats.
Bruce took the liberty of getting several popsicles and bringing them over to where the head PTA parents were.
"Sorry again about the dessert snafu." Bruce smiled as he handed ice creams to Alyssa and Sabrina. "I hope this makes up for it!"
"Oh, it more than makes up for it!" Alyssa grinned as she took the popsicle. "Wow, Bruce! This is incredible!"
Sabrina nodded and turned to where a blond, steaming woman stood.
"Don't you think so, Margie?"
"So amazing. Wow." Margie had averystrained smile on her face, and looked like she wanted to do numerous illegal things to Bruce.
Unfazed, Bruce gave her a winning smile. "That means a lot coming from you, Margie. Thank you."
He walked away from the woman, hearing her make a few (admittedly creative) threats under her breath.
He was soon stopped by an annoyed Duke and a very amused Peter.
"You havegotto stop letting her get to you, man." Duke told Bruce. Peter was cracking up at the sight of Margie still stewing.
The billionaire winced, and sighed. "This was too much, wasn't it?"
"Little bit, yeah."
Bruce got the three of them ice creams (a Batman-themed popsicle for himself, a Spider-Man themed one for Peter, and a gold caramel ice cream bar for Duke) before he started to lead the teens to the car.
Peter finally stopped laughing, taking a deep breath.
"Just be glad Aunt May wasn't here. If she went up against Margie, there wouldn't be enough left of her to wash off the sidewalk..."
Bruce looked interested. "Out of curiosity, when is her next visit...?"
"Bruce." Duke gave the man a look. "No."
"Okay, okay!" The dark knight in disguise led them to where Alfred was waiting with the car.
Before getting in, Duke flashed a smile.
"Bet that was satisfying though." He told his and Peter's foster father.
Bruce laughed. "Sosatisfying."
